beautiful mess

i watched two lovers the other night. i wanted to see it because of a line they included in the trailer. a line about loving someone because you know them. it was such a sweet sentiment, to love some one because of everything that they don't want anyone else to see. but it hurt my heart. joaquin phoenix hurt my heart. he was fantastic, the lighting was amazing and the whole mood sunk deep in my chest and felt heavy in a lovely way, and i wasn't sure if i never wanted to turn it off or couldn't believe i thought it was a smart choice in the first place.

now that it is over though, and i have had hours to let the feelings slip out of me i wouldn't take it back.

it was beautiful in a crushing way.